Barbara Tyler penned the following to let her family and guests know not to expect a Martha Stewart-like Thanksgiving meal.

THANKSGIVING WITHOUT MARTHA

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I’m telling you in advance, so don’t act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won’t be coming, I’ve made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I’ve gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I’m sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children’s recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don’t own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We’ve also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like.

In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table.

In a separate room.

Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me.

Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice: take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won’t come next year either. I am thankful.

SOURCE: By Barbara A. Tyler (as Printed in Today’s Woman, November 2000).

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And as we focus on kitchens, I want to share with you...

A list of signs that have been spotted hanging in kitchens.

If you don’t like my cooking, lower your standards!
This is a self-cleaning kitchen. You use it; you clean it yourself
We offer 2 choices for dinner; take it or leave it
Don’t criticize my coffee; you will be weak someday, too
My next house won’t have a kitchen – just vending machines.
The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air,
It knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner and burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen, completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows, it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling, where there’d never been turkey before.
It blanketed every appliance, it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn’t a way I could stop it, that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure, and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I’d never again stuff a turkey with popcorn that hadn’t been popped!
- George Rennau

What are you stuffed with?

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

16 Be joyful always;
17 pray continually;
18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

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Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens.

This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. (The Message)

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16 Rejoice evermore.
17 Pray without ceasing.
18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (KJV)

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Thanksgiving is not optional; it is an obligation.

Ephesians 5:20

20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; (KJV)

Thanksgiving is more than an event. It is to be a lifestyle.

To fail to be thankful is just as definite a disobedience to God’s command as to steal.

The Root of Thanksgiving is Grace!

The word used for “Giving thanks” has “GRACE” as a root word.

It is where we get our word eucharist. Paul used it earlier in this same letter:

1 Thessalonians 2:13

13 And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from
us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is at work in you who believe. (NIV)

The Thessalonians had received grace.

God had done something for them which they did not deserve.

Grace is receiving something good which we did not deserve.

Thanksgiving helps us to focus on the fact that:

1 Timothy 6:7 7

For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. (NIV)

In areas of Mexico, there are hot springs and cold springs right beside each other. The local women often bring their laundry and wash them in the hot springs and rinse them in the cold springs. But instead of being thankful that God hasgiven them this natural and free Laundromat,they gripe because there is no soap!

Will you be a giver of the grace of Thanksgiving? Or will you be a griper?

Thankfulness is a gauge for our spiritual temperature.

Some cooks will not roast a turkey without having a meat thermometerin it to make sure that the internal temperature of the turkey reaches the desired point.What would happen if we put a Thanksgiving thermometer in our mouths? Would what comes out prove that we are thankful within?

Matthew 12:34

For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. (NIV)

The RANGE of Thanksgiving is in everything!

1 Thessalonians 5:18

18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

"In all circumstances."
When things come are way that are not pleasant uswe are still to be thankful for God can bring glory and good out of all things. If we turn our backs to the sun, the shadows are all in front of us! If we face the sun, where do the shadows fall? Behind us! The compelling idea in verse 18 is that the heart is to overflow in gratitude to God for everything that comes into our lives.

The REASON for Thanksgiving is God’s Will!

1 Thessalonians 5:18

18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Consider the words of Matthew Henry who wrote in his diary after being attacked by thieves and robbed of his money: "Let me be thankful first, because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my purse, they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed.” When our life is one constant “Thank You, Lord,” we are freed from selfishness! In everything and for everything we are to give thanks.

Gary Burnes sent me this email the other day. It reminds me of how we must make thanksgiving a way of life, an attitude in every day, rather than an affair that happens only once a year.

GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED

My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen, "Are you there, God?" he said. "Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed..." I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in.

He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them.

I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child.

He does not seem dissatisfied. He leaps out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores.

And Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. "That one's goin' to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it means to be discontent. His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be.

His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure. He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere.

And he trusts God.

Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an "educated" person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion. In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap. I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care.

Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.

And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed.

Kevin won't be surprised at all!

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In everything give thanks! It’s God’s will!

Are you thanks giving?